Fall

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

6-yr-old Alyssa's Quotes of the Day:

"I won't work at a gas station!"

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Banana......that can talk.......and has 25 eyeballs! See, you just make it up!"

"I'm a pig like my uncle."

"Can we go to Starbucks? I always get a small caramel frappacino from there."

"I guess a lot of people saw me on the news."
(random reference to a local news segment about a kid's playroom she was on months ago.)

"I can spell two bad words: ....S-A-I-T ...A-S-S"

An Investigative Investigation of Things

Cereal, Part One:
Alpha Bits, Less Than They Appear?

I remember when there were two kinds of Alpha Bits: regular and marshmallow. The marshmallow was amazing, but it is no longer available. My local Acme is the only store I've noticed the regular one in, so when it went on sale one week, naturally I couldn't resist.

Then one night, when it was finally time to open the new box (the Apple Jacks were finished), TG did so, and poured a bowl, exclaiming "What the hell is this?" The "this" in question:

Figure 1: amorphous blob.

A mutant blob of hardened frosting and bits, which was probably stuck in the corner of the coating machine tray for days before it got knocked loose into our box (I've seen "Unwrapped", I know how these machines work!). I'll admit it...I licked it to verify it was hardened frosted goodness. And yes, it was delicious. I almost threw it out, then realized it would be a great blog story. You're welcome, Internet.

Little did I know that it would also lead to other observations as we ate:
TG: "I don't remember them being so stale-tasting."
Me: "I do."
TG: "Are you writing down things about Alpha Bits?"
Me: "Yup."

Figure 2. Bowl as shown on box.
I do not remember the individual bits being so imperfect, but maybe I am putting a shiny glow on my memory and it was always like this. My bowl does not look as good as the one on the box either (Figure 2), which leads me to wonder how many boxes they sorted through to get a bowl that nice. In reality, the bits are only vaguely alphabet-shaped; Q, O, and D all look similar, and the number of broken bits leads me to think there were a lot of L's. I decided to further investigate the situation by counting the number of each letter in an average bowl of cereal. It promised to be a time-consuming process; good thing I am unemployed.

Figure 3. One bowl laid out.

The results: there seems to be an inordinate number of A's, B's, and Ds, as well as P's Q's and R's (Figure 3). You will also notice in the photo there are many letters of the alphabet completely missing. Indeed, I could not even spell "i do things" with one bowl of cereal. This was disconcerting, because any number of children learning to read could be learning with no E's and a bunch of misshapen D's. And about those D's: wouldn't they all be extruded from the same machine? Why are the variations in size so extreme? Upon closer inspection of the bowl pictured, I see there is an S, but actually, no other letters that I did not find in my bowl (what I labled V could be U, and N could be Z). So maybe there IS some truth behind the bits, and they are just working with an alphabet that is quite different than the one I learned at Cedar Grove Elementary.

FACT: Alpha Bits do not contain the whole alphabet.

Unfortunately, the Internet was no help in understanding the process of creating Alpha Bits. This investigation led to many more questions than answers, and I feel unfulfilled. I'm sorry I brought it up.

Cereals

I've written about cereals before, so this is nothing new. I've had a loving relationship with cereal for some time now, something which I think occurs in a lot of people, starting as children. Should I feel guilty for bringing That Guy over to the dark side, as he eats cereal regularly at night now too? My love of cereals of all kinds, as well as my dubious decision to buy eight boxes at one time (for reasons I am still trying to figure out), often leads me to want to share this love with the world.


This particular series of posts began innocently enough: I had gotten a box of Alpha Bits, which I hadn't eaten in years, and wanted to write about them. Upon closer inspection, questions came up (these questions will be covered in the first post). A search of the Internet and Amazon yielded no good information or books that could answer these questions.

My eyes were opened to the simple physical characteristics that make a cereal, be they good or bad, and what we remember about them. The frosty coating, crunchy texture, and odd shapes all come into account while eating, as well as memories, commercials, and characters associated. It all sounds very scholarly. I decided that cereal needs to be investigated, and that I am the perfect person for the job. The first study will be later this week. These will be a series of completely unscientific investigations of cereal conducted in the hopes of finding groundbreaking information and landing a lucrative six-figure book deal.

Grandmother and the Pyrex

I snagged these Pyrex bowls from my mother's house before she cleaned everything out of the basement. They were my grandmother's, and since she is now living with my mom, they were deemed unneeded. I found out later, my brother also had his eye on them, but I got to them first. Sorry, Russ. I made it up to him by buying him a new set. Not the same, I know.

Grandmother had these bowls in her little postwar-era row house in Baltimore. She never had a dishwasher, so they are in great shape. I vaguely remember them at the house, but it's one of those things where you remember just enough to make it special. Once, I broke the small blue one by dropping it in the sink. I cried. TG saved the day by finding it on eBay in a set with the matching red one. I got a sink mat after that.


I was incredibly lucky/stoked to find another set at a flea market the other day, but this one is orange with an adorable flower pattern. Three nesting bowls, and they are in terrific condition, all for just five bucks! And we have nowhere to put them!

These bowls were photographed on location in 1972. Actually, while my grandmother DID have very similiar linoleum and appliances, this is my actual kitchen. Commence pity in 3...2...1...

Quickies

I like to thank anyone (yes) for reading my first-ever theme week! Are you sick of apples yet? Because I am not. I still have about 6 or 7 left to use. They will probably go to more applesauce; it's the easiest, and least fattening after all these sweets. If you have an apple or two that you must use before it goes bad, here are three suggestions for quick snacks that take little effort.

Dried Apples
Preheat oven to 250°
Slice an apple very thin, cutting through core also.
Place slices on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
Place in oven and turn down heat to 200°.
Bake for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, or until desired dehydration...they are good a little chewy but you can leave them till they get crispy.
(On my wishlist: a slicer.)

Apple and Blueberry Smoothie
1 Apple
Handful of blueberries
Pinch of sugar
Dash of Allspice
1 cup Milk
Ice

Blend all ingredients until smooth,
adding ice as needed to chill it.

Quick Apple Crisp
Makes 2 servings

1 large apple, peeled and diced
1 packet apple cinnamon instant oatmeal
2 tbsp white sugar
4 tbsp water
2 tbsp butter, cut into small pieces

Dice apple, and place in a bowl with all other ingredients (can also use regular oatmeal, just add a bit of cinnamon or allspice to the mix). Distribute mixture into ramekins, and cut more butter over the top if desired. Bake at 350° for half an hour, or until bubbly and apples are soft. Serve with ice cream!

Best Apple Cake Ever

This really is the best apple cake. It's incredibly moist, and flavorful without being overpowering. Make this, you will not be disappointed.

I only had a small piece myself, because these went to a bake sale at a day care. One sold for five dollars. Quite a steal, if you ask me. To sum up: yummy cake, five dollars, I got hardly any. Harumph.

2 eggs
1/2 cup applesauce
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup white sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
4 cups apples, peeled and diced

Preheat oven to 350°. Grease and flour one 9 x 13 inch baking pan.

In a mixing bowl beat oil and eggs until creamy. Add the sugar and vanilla and beat well.

Combine the flour, salt, baking soda, and cinnamon together in a bowl. Slowly add this mixture to the egg mixture and mix until combined. The batter will be very thick. Fold in the apples by hand using a wooden spoon. Spread batter into the prepared pan.

Bake at 350 for 45 minutes or until cake tests done. Let cake cool on a wire rack. Once cake is cool serve with a dusting of confectioners' sugar or with a cream cheese frosting.