Breads

Bread. It is so time-consuming. It's not a lot of work, really, especially with Betty, the Kitchen Aid. But the rising is what gets ya. Wait an hour (or more) for the first rise, then there is usually a SECOND rise after shaping. I would make bread way more often if it was a faster process.

Anyway, this is the babka from the other day. The original recipe had a chocolate filling, but I decided to use Nutella straight from the jar (lazy lazy lazy). Next time I will use more filling, but it was totally delicious!

Slacker

I'm a slacker. I will admit it. No posts in a week? My goodness. But if you knew why, maybe you would forgive me.

1. It's not because I've been reading Infinite Jest. In fact, I have yet to begin it; I was finishing another book first.

2. It's not because I got a job. Still working on that.

3. It's not because I've been volunteering for Haiti. I am not George Clooney.

4. It's not because I have a pile of laundry. Ok it's partly because of that.

5. It's not because I was on a wild vacation to Iceland.

It's because my mental capacities have been put to work elsewhere. My friend and I have a writing project we started this week. It's super-secret. It involves books, computers, yoga, and stretchy black pants.

Tomorrow just for funsies I will put up a picture of my nice babka, a recipe I got via Sugar Plum. Nom nom nom.

Till then, thank you for your patience, I shall return!!

Infinitely Long

I've decided to read Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace. I've heard things about it from That Guy and the Internet, and am interested. It is the story of...well, a lot of things.

Equal parts philosophical quest and screwball comedy, Infinite Jest bends every rule of fiction, features a huge cast and multilevel narrative, and questions essential elements of American culture - our entertainments, our addictions, our relationships, our pleasures, our abilities to define ourselves. - Amazon.com

Today I picked up a copy from the good ole library. From the outside, it looks normal enough.
Then, you look at it from the side.

Here it is next to my largest book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which clocks in at a paltry 870 pages. Infinite Jest is 1079. It is my Everest (currently).

Crazy part is, a lot of it is footnotes (beginning on page 893). This book is so full of long-winded, tiny-fonted footnotes that there are guides to reading it. I'm following kottke.org's basic instructions. He also has a nice introduction to the whole process here.

There is also Infinite Summer for more tips, one of which is "keep notes." What? Seems strange now, but I think I'm in for a lot of characters and plot twists.

I don't even know how to read this. I have to prop it up in front of me somehow so as not to tire myself out. But I am determined, and the will of man supercedes all else (see, I'm already talking in philosophical terms!) I also have no idea if I will enjoy it. It looks like one of those deep satirical, philosophical novels that I don't "get." But my promise to you, my dear reader, is that I will plow through, and update you on my progress. If anyone has any information or insight that will help along the way, feel free to comment or email!

One thing I do know: I'm in for a world of hurt; but hopefully, in a good way.

Eating Healthy.

I'm trying to eat healthier. It's been a long, inactive winter so far, and there is no end in sight. So might as well feel better about what I eat! Basically, eating better for me just means "stop eating so much junk food." Not too difficult in general, if you just don't buy any. But what happens when you see this awesome babka recipe and gotta make it? Or when you are going to a birthday party and are asked to make something? You have to taste it! Then, when you decide to make Oreo cupcakes, and theres half a bag of Oreos left over...well, there you are.


Oreos mixed in a butter cupcake, with more Oreos mixed in buttercream frosting. As Racheal Ray annoyingly says: Yum-O!



Thats all I have to say today; it's a quiet day!

They're Back!

Food Network and HGTV are BACK ON THE AIR! Alright!! Thank you everyone for your support during this difficult time. Here is a summary of the negotiations:

Cablevision, Scripps reach fee agreement

Cleanest Investigation EVER

Investigative Investigation of Things
Oxygen Cleaner

I will just come out and say it: I LOVE OXI CLEAN. More specifically, I LOVE GENERIC OXI CLEAN. That's right, I don't even have the brand name, but this stuff is amazing. "LA's Totally Awesome Power Oxygen Base Cleaner" is available at ---wait for it--- the dollar store. It only costs one little dollar, plus tax!

I've used this in cleaning and laundry a lot. To put it to the test, I tried to clean one of TG's dirtiest hats, which he doesn't even wear because it's so gross. I think he wore it camping. The white logo was a nice brown, and as you can see, the rim was stained pretty well.



Soaking in a tub with hot water and half a scoop of "LA's Totally Awesome Power Oxygen Base Cleaner" (changing the water four times) actually got it really clean, and the black didn't fade at all. I just had to scrub the logo a bit with some powder on my finger. Best part: it only costs a dollar.



Some classic Oxi Clean action:

Turmeric

How do you spell the name of the spice "turmeric"? Apparently not like "tumeric." Wikipedia says:

Its active ingredient is curcumin and it has a distinctly earthy, slightly bitter, slightly hot peppery flavor and a mustardy smell. Erode, a city in the south Indian state of Tamil Nadu, is the world's largest producer and most important trading center of turmeric in Asia. For these reasons, Erode in history is also known as "Yellow City"[citation needed] or "Turmeric City"[citation needed]. Sangli, a town in the southern part of the Indian western state of Maharashtra, is the second largest and most important trading center for turmeric in Asia.*

Another site noted it is often misspelled as "tumeric." So McCormick must have realized their mistake and fixed the spelling on their label, but not their display:

Actual photo in grocery store. I've reached peak nerdiness.

*Does anything on Wikipedia have citations?

Pitch Meeting

CBS Studio, 1970

Writer: So I have this idea for a medical show, a show to which all future medical shows will look for influence. Except for House.

Executive: That's great, we love influencing future TV! Tell me about it.

Writer: Ok. It's centered on a team of doctors and surgeons. We already pegged a good tall guy to play the lead. He's going to be smart and funny, and insightful. There's also a funny guy, like the comic relief, who will occasionally wear a dress and give terrific insight!

Exec: I like it so far, but what about a female lead? This IS 1970, we need a disco chick or something!

Writer: For that, we have a really sexy nurse. She's one of the few women around so everyone loves her. We'll give her a sexy nickname, but because she's head nurse she can also be insightful, which women viewers will love!

Exec: Excellent! Who else?

Writer: Theres the clerk, who is a nerdy kind of guy, but likeable and insightful, like Rick Moranis.

Exec: Who is Rick Moranis?

Writer: Oh right, we don't know who he is yet. Wait till Ghostbusters is written, then you'll see what I mean.

Exec: We need some people in charge at this hospital.

Writer: Well, we are still working out details, but there are other officers around the hospital who can bring stories and insight to each episode!

Exec: Wait, why would there be officers at a hospital?

Writer: And we would call it "Mobile Army Surgical Hospital," and set it in Korea, but really we'd be protesting the Vietnam War!

Exec: @#$#% &@ $%#!!!

Seriously!

Investigative Investigation of Things

Cereal: Part Four
Cookie Crisp vs. Actual Cookies

I was very excited about this one. I looooove Cookie Crisp cereal, and I love chocolate chip cookies. (Note: Both are abbreviated "CCC", so I'll have to spell them out completely when using the names). And who forgets the commercials with the cartoon dog (wolf?), "COOOOOOOOOOOkie Crisp!" For this experiment, I made up a batch of my Grandmother's cookies to compare the two.

You can see the obvious difference here immediately: size. The cereal is tiny compared to the cookie. When biting into it, the texture if the cereal is crisper, not very cookie-ish. There are no noticeable chips, just small spots that appear chocolatey. Honestly, now that I've attempted this comparison, it seems silly (I am aware of the irony of that statement), because frankly, nothing beats a chocolate chip cookie. Nothing.

FACT: Cookie Crisp "chips" are actually flecks of chocolate posing as chips.

Try putting a chocolate chip cookie in a bowl, it just doesn't look right. Now surround it with Cookie Crisp cereal: still doesn't look right. Believe me, I tried:


In addition, chocolate chip cookies are best dunked in milk, I think that can be argued pretty well. But Cookie Crisp cereal is meant to sit in milk for several minutes. What's the difference? When a cookie is dunked, it absorbs the milk quickly, becoming a squishy cookie mass. When the cereal is dunked, it doesn't have time to absorb. Plus, your fingers get wet. So I do not recommend dunking Cookie Crisp. Just be satisfied pouring milk on it. I do however, think that pouring milk over broken-up cookies would turn into a mushy bowl of deliciousness, and recommend someone trys it and lets me know how it is.

I will say that the picture on the box of cereal accurately represents the actual product. The cereal looks exactly as shown. But exactly as shown is NOT exactly like a cookie. The flavor is there, and I will never say that it is not a good cereal or not representative of a cookie; in fact, if you are craving a cookie, and all you have is Cookie Crisp, I'd say it's a pretty darn good substitute.

"Coooookie Crisp!"

This was my final cereal investigation, but not my last investigation in general. There are other questionable things out there, after all!

Large MINI Marketing

Here's some more awesome marketing from our friends at MINI:


More info at Autoblog.com

PS Don't forget to help us save Food Network and HGTV on Cablevision! See below!

OUTRAGE!

Cablevision and their provider have decided to DROP Food Network and HGTV from our cable lineup, because they cannot agree on terms. This means CABLEVISION CUSTOMERS LIKE US NO LONGER HAVE FOOD NETWORK. Obviously, this angers me greatly. I need YOUR HELP to get it back! Even if you do not have Cablevision, please go to I Love Food Network to get all the info and send a message to Cablevision demanding the return of our beloved channel!

Cablevision customers need your help!!